So What's Next? This was a rough week following the loss of my friend. My friendship with her began when we met in grad school in San Francisco in 1988. We were together in a Family Therapy class at CIIS when the earthquake collapsed the freeway in Oakland and "broke" the Bay Bridge. It's no wonder I hated working with couples and families in my counseling practice! That night of the earthquake we came up with an emergency plan should there be another disaster - one that might blow out all the phone lines. We would each leave a message by a particular structure in the park across from Grace Cathedral, just a block from her apartment. Several times this week I've wondered if there is a message there waiting for me......

I miss her and I miss being able to talk to people who knew her. There was no wake or memorial that I know of, probably her husband was exhausted and heartbroken and all the relatives had dispersed to their respective homes spread all over the country, so nothing was scheduled. It felt like the healing/wedding just six days before her passing was that event, however, it wasn't appropriate to talk about her as if she was dying because we were still hoping for a mighty miracle. Anyway, there is healing in sharing stories and memories. I have sent a letter to her husband and emails to three other friends that knew her hoping that we can share stories. I told my sister about this need to share stories and she told me about the one meeting she had with my friend back in "88, I think. It was a very sweet story that reminded me of how nurturing Lief was and how she was so able to make you comfortable regardless of the circumstances. That helped, I was able to cry a little and reduce the build up of grief pressure or whatever one would call it. I will call another friend tomorrow.

So, I want to integrate this experience into the Creative Oasis Network process and to use what has happened to deepen my commitment to the project while hopefully bringing more women into the process. I have been reluctant to talk about the events of the last two weeks because the Network was not intended to be about me and my process - but it is "what's up" right now and as Ram Dass (I think) said, it's "grist for the mill". Perhaps others will see the blog as a way to get support and to post what is important to them at this time - right now.

There are a couple of pending events for Creative Oasis Network, a writing workshop and a book group, neither with a scheduled date as yet. Also, a friend mentioned that she might want to do a group for women to discuss sexuality at this time of life. Those all sound fascinating to me, hopefully we can pin some events down to get the word out soon via email and the website. If you have any other ideas for an event or activity, please let me know. I'm offering the space at no charge for the month of May- so take advantage of it!

If you want to post anything on this blog you can either comment as a few others have or you can post directly by letting me know that you want to be a contributor. The blog site administrator (me) sends an email that invites you to submit your email address with a new password to get you on the site. If you have trouble with that process, please let me know. I want to encourage others' input. Nancy